Failure?

If you could use two words to sum up your life what would it be?
Memories ran through my mind and the only two words which sprang into my mind was
-EPIC FAILURE-
pathetic huh. I've failed so so much and so horribly in my 16yrs of life, i would hope my future life would be better but it seems soo far away, like a myth, worst than that. If there was one thing i've learnt its NEVER get your hopes up too high, disappointments would slam you right in your face. very hard.
I dont know why but these few days i've been thinking so much, too much. A human mind have it's limitation, i guess i've exceeded that. everything i have, could just be gone the next second.everything suddenly seems so unreal. There is not more any emoticon that can tell you how i feel now.
I failed so hard, nothing seems to disappoint me anymore, i expected that. But occasionally it would still hurt deep, sometimes very.

I failed in my family. Sometimes i feel like i dont belong here, that i was borned in the wrong family. I know my parents are disappointed in my results, I really did try my best. I cant be a good sister, I dont set a good example. 'm even a bigger disappointment to my brother i know, he expects alot too. Sometimes i can feel the pressure building up in him. I just want him to know il always be there, NO MATTER WHAT. Thats for sure. but, things doesnt go the way you think. My family never seem to be pleased with me, sometimes i just want to runaway. to where? I dont have a home.
I failed in my social life. This i really dont want to rake up anymore, ill just live to see day by day. I really do appreciate and cherish all my besties and buddies around me. Some changed, some always there. (I miss her, the one i used to know.) I know, be grateful. But i just wished i had someone who i can tell every single thing to, somebody that will never leave. they say eventually everyone leaves. Oh, i'm not sure of myself either.
My school life? Failed. My chruch life? Failed. Love Life? For sure failed. My relationship with God? I dont spend enough time with Him, this is my fault i know.

God is the only person i can turn to no matter what. Help me, Give me the strength to pull through, i really face all this alone.

I will wash my hands off all the matters of my heart. Learn to understand and forgive, then you will learn to love. Lord, guide me through.

I'm tired of all this, i'm a human i have feelings just like you.